Oh, good. Just a couple more days and I’m done with speech class. Thank God! With luck, I should never have to attend another one. Don’t get me wrong, the class went fine. It’s the technology, the constant assignments, and everything else.

Today, I ended up having to burn $80 I was saving on one of my insulins (Lantus). I lost my medicaid on New Years day and to be honest, until today, I really didn’t give a damn. Medicaid was giving me nothing but grief anyway. But damn -! $89 God, burning that much money on such a tiny vial of liquid.

Y’know, world, a new pair of jeans would be nice, so would a pair of shoes. Maybe a new jacket, I’m wearing the same winter coat I did back when I was 18. Hey — here’s a revolutionary idea — howzabout a suit I could interview in? POOF. Insulin.

Yeah, I know… it’s stupid to be crying over this. I need insulin to survive. I can live without clothes. In another week or so, I should be getting a student refund check in the mail. I know this is just PMS making me feel all weird over something as stupid as this.

But now I just want to cry.

Still obsessed with Naruto.

Still very short on money, especially now that I have to pay for my insulin out of pocket. ^^;

Figured out how to add a few things into the site, namely program the deadline function for challenges.

Overall, nothing new to report.

There’s nothing that quite sums up a mistake with diabetes management than:

“Umm… Hi Nancy, I just did something very stupid.”

Somehow “stupid” seems like a tremendous understatement. I’m okay, this happened back in December, but I had to send my logs over to my care team today and my note just cracked me up. XD

Basically, I had been extremely tired when I woke up that morning and accidently mistook my Humalog insulin with my Lantus. I only take 3 units of Humalog at maximum, and 16 units of Lantus in the morning only. So I gave myself 16 units of Humalog that morning. I realized what I had done as soon as the plunger reached the bottom of my syringe. So I immediately bolted down a full glass of orange juice and ran to call the Diabetes Center for a game plan. And of everything I could have said, I choose to say “I just did something stupid.”

LOL! At least I’ve only done that only twice in the years I’ve had diabetes, they assured me that they have other patients do it all the time. (Ouch.)

In other news, today I had to take my resume in to one of the local staffing agencies so I could see if I could get a job. To disclose my diabetes, or not to disclose my diabetes. I’m perfectly healthy, no neuropathy or other complications . . . other than my blood glucose drops like a stone if I do anything too strenuous. I ended up disclosing it against my better judgement, just so they wouldn’t try pushing me into a strenuous job.

Instead, I walked out with contact information on becoming a Database Specialist. Starting wages of $12/hr but I don’t know that I know enough yet to be able to do the job. They’re asking for a BS in Computer Science, and all I’ll have this Fall is an Associates. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll be able to do many of the requirements when I leave school, but I can’t do them all quite yet. The bullet about “Windows programming” is the point that worries me the most. Yes, I do have to take Visual Basic, but I still have more prerequisites to do before I can attempt it. I called anyway, made myself sound like an idiot on the Human Relations voicemail, and have spent the rest of the evening worrying about it.

I know it’s pointless to worry, but I can’t help it.

Much love to everyone, I’ll try to reply to everyone tomorrow morning.

Had a checkup today with Nancy at the diabetes center and found out I did a bit too well on my control. My A1c came back at 5.9% - which she said was a bit alarming. Once again, I had my insulin dose adjusted.

Basically that means that the bouts of hypoglycemia I’ve been experiencing are edging towards dangerous levels. It gets too low and I may end up in serious trouble. In fact, when I walked into the center today, my blood sugar was down to 43 mg/dL (2.38mmol/l). I really should be 70 - 120, which is a bit too low for my own good.

Anyway, courtesy of my doctors I came home with something new: a free vial of Lantus insulin. I also had the offer to take an introductory pumping class, though I took a raincheck so I can see how I do on Lantus first.

Hopefully they’re right and this will make me feel more normal. I’m not sure what that means, but I do have to admit I have been feeling pretty weird lately. The results from my A1c probably explain it a bit.

Also, thanks to AmyT for her comments and link to her site. ^_^ I’ll comment once I get my homework done.

Okay, now that Wordpress is working for me as I want it to, it’s time for a little update on my situation.

Yesterday, I went to the Diabetes Center at Saint Mary’s Hospitol here in Grand Rapids to check on my medication and to just generally get a better picture of my diabetes as a whole.

Talk about Earth-shattering.

First of all, let me say they were excellent. Accepting the offer Catherine’s Care Center made to send me to an Endocrinologist was the best decision I ever made. They gave me more information on Diabetes than I’ve ever dreamed of finding out. I even got to meet with the director of the center, who informed me that she handpicked her entire staff. All of them either are diabetics or care for someone who is - so they all can empathsize with their patients. Very very good.

But then they dropped the bombshell on me.

I was diagnosed as a Type II Diabetic over 13 months ago. I worried about Avandamet and Glipizides and their cost. I put up with the stupidity doctors and the media cop when it comes to that type of Diabetes.

I spent 13 months treating a version of Diabetes I didn’t have.

That’s right: I’m a Type I Diabetic and I should have been on Insulin from the very start.

*cue soundeffects and screams of much frustration*

Anyway, I’m now on a plan aimed at Type I and I’m shocked at how much better I was feeling. I simply didn’t realize I was feeling so off until I got a few doses of short- and long- acting insulin in me. Weird. Cool, but weird. In a good way…

I ended up crashing today, however. I went for my mile walk, came home, and completely forgot to get a snack. Instead, once I finished my cool down, I took Kaze and laid down on my bed for a little bit. I woke up sick. -_-;; And supposibly I’d “probably never get that low” - well take a look at 41 mg/dL, dumbfucks!

Really, I thought from the way Metro Health was so firm in their diagnosis, there had to be a concrete difference between the two types. Instead, the doctors at Saint Mary’s said in regarding the test for Type I Diabetes - and I quote: “A positive will tell us for sure, but a negative will tell us nothing. You could be Type I and it can still come back negative. We’ll actually know better in a week from your bloodsugar checks.”

Uh-Huh. I’m still leary of doctors, but I know I can trust my Glucometer. Provided I calibrate it properly, as per the directions, it’s pretty close. And all my current checks are coming back nice and low (well, provided I don’t overdo it on the potatochips or anything)… sometimes a bit too low. lol

Now just to get this damn Kent Health plan to work. Apparently, I had to stick this funky sticker on my card. Thing is, no one told me. So here’s hoping they don’t refuse to pay due to that stupid little thing. Really, I’m so fed up with them I’m really tempted just to hurry up and look for a job. Mom’s still sitting on her dead ass and claiming to friends and family who ask that she’s waiting on calls when all she’s applied to has been Spectrum Health’s patient transport position. Jasson hasn’t been really answering anyone who asks. *sigh* Love them, BUT. Of course, I’ve been avoiding answering myself… since some of my family is a little dense on the uptake of medication costs. But now that I’m on insulin, which is far cheaper, I’m pretty much ready.

I have to call tomorrow and pray I can get through so I can ask my questions regarding the application, but I’m not sure what good it’s going to do. I think it’d almost be faster just to demand mom take me around to apply for jobs.

Oy vey!

To begin, let me just say that needles and injections suck.

Further, last night sucked monkey balls.

And Diabetes sucks even worse.

Diabetes runs in my family on both sides, so it wasn’t a huge surprise a year ago today when I finally got a diagnosis that explained why I was suffering from severe fatigue, thirst, and infections that would not clear up. I had been suspecting anemia (which also is pretty common in my family) or diabetes, just from the specific battery of tests they ran me through.

I wasn’t expecting it to be Type II Diabetes, which is the kind most often to effect the Elderly and Obese. My risk factors were far more in favor of Type I. Of course, they can’t treat me like someone who got the ugly end of the genetic lottery.

Nope, instead I keep finding myself being treated like some lazy bitch who does nothing but sit around and eat bon-bons and fast food all day. The first doctors decided to consign me to deteriorating health, even saying that they’d need to get me on medication to quote unquote “prolong [my] liver function.” They offered no suggestions on lowering my bloodsugar or lessons on even how to test my blood.

So, eventually getting tired of their crap, I dubiously switch to another doctor at an office I had been warned provided low quality care.

Heh, Dr. Reaume is the best damn doctor I’ve ever had, save for the pediatrician I had when I was a kid. He worked with me to find affordable means to get the care and education I needed, even switching me to insulin, which is finally proving to be an effective treatment. Yes, he’s been great for me - Or I should say, Dr. Reaume was great for me.

About a week ago, I received a lovely letter from the State of Michigan that basically stated that to continue receiving Medicaid benefits for medical services, I have to find another doctor. So, the hunt is on, but does the State offer any kind of help. Fat chance.

So now, I’m hanging.

What’s more, is that I really can’t get a job either. One of my meds is $279 per bottle of 150 pills. Medicaid covers it, but only if I’m unemployed. I get a job, I loose Medicaid and find myself faced without a way to afford my medication. The only alternative is finding myself an advocate somehow and seeing if I can get on the drug manufacturers’ assistance programs. (Which I was originally on, until the first doctors’ office insisted I drop it in lieu of Medicaid! )

Well, yesterday (day before yesterday by the time I hit “Enter”) Murphy’s Law struck and I had another fun little episode in this learning curve.

I ate dinner at 5:30pm, with more of the glucose raising things than I normally should have like Scalloped Potatoes, bread and butter, etc. But… I’d been a bit low all day, so I figured a bit of indulgence wouldn’t hurt me any.

At 7:30, I came back from a walk with my dog, and ended up with a slight tremble that indicated I again was low. Being of sound mind and body, I grab a few pieces of Halloween Candy and then spot a nice, big, juicy apple. Normally, that’d be way too much for a snack.

At 9:30pm I tested my bloodsugar, which was at 63 mg/dL. A bit low for me, but no biggie. I had some of my diabetic-friendly yogurt.

I tested again at 11pm before I went to bed, which said I was at 180 mg/dL. A bit higher than it should be, but it isn’t the highest I’ve been.

At 2am I’m still awake, anxiously brooding over really stupid things. I was feeling strung out, bitchy, and not the slightest bit tired. I don’t know at what point it struck me to test again, but I eventually hauled myself out of bed and went to get my test kit.

I knew the moment I touched it I was “crashing” - my vision suddenly blurred, I broke out in a sweat, and I began trembling so violently I could barely handle my lancet device. This test came back at below 50 mg/dL.

Thank goodness for that Halloween candy is all I can say. After eating some candy, I woke mom up and told her. A phone call to the closest ER revealed that bloodsugar under 50 is where they consider it an emergency.

Since Mom was making a 2:30am breakfast for me (not to mention I’ve gotten to loathe ERs with a passion) I told them I’d see how I felt after that and then come in if it still wouldn’t stay up. So after some breakfast, Adult Swim, and another test at 4am later puts me clear up in the 200s. Back to bed… only until 8am.

Mom demanded I call Dr. Reaume’s office and ask to talk to someone about this. I’ve come to the conclusion… there is no Dr.’s office on earth that can hit 100%. Nope, there’s always gotta be something they suck at. Dr. Reaume’s office is returning phonecalls. Two phonecalls wanting advice over an event that could have landed me in the ER and they never called me back. :-/

*sigh* So, the hunt is on to find someone before I have another of these bizarre crashes as well as see if - somehow - I can locate myself an advocate.

Tell me when the fun starts.